Crazy Concepts in Nigeria

By: Oyindamola Abdulazeez

As a typical Nigerian, I have discovered some very weird ideologies that my fellow Nigerians have adopted unknowingly as a culture. These ideologies can be tagged ‘funny and crazy concepts.’

There are certain beliefs that are practiced only in Nigeria. Listed below are some of these ideologies.

ü  Check the expiry date of gala after eating it.

ü  A sick patient on hospital bed will update status as ‘hospital tinz’

ü   Go to church with extension and bb charger (charging in His presence)

ü   Update on BBM "about to cross" get hit by a car and still update "dying tinz"

ü  Eating meat makes you a big man

ü  Christmas is meant to eat rice and chicken

ü  Every Calabar girl is a sex maniac

ü  Say an opening prayer at a night club.

ü  Go to a supermarket, buy a bottle of coke and spend 30 minutes snapping with champagne bottles.

ü   Wear sunshades at night. 

ü   Wear complete rainbow colors like its rag day and call it color blocking.

ü   Count money after withdrawing from an ATM (we trust no one, not even machines)

ü  Wear head warmer at 45 degrees celsius. 

ü   Call a fat Hausa man "Alhaji" and a thin one "Aboki".

ü   Travel to China for 2 days and come back with a British accent.

ü   Go to an eatery and buy bottled water just to watch a soccer match.

ü  Update weather for two when it rains (like the only time you remember your lover is when it rains)

ü  See two opposite sex together and conclude they are dating

ü  Wear a spoilt watch for the sake of fashion

ü  Call any guy that spends for you maga.

ü  See someone arive from a journey and ask "are you back"

ü  All noodles are indomie

ü  Everything bought is shoprite is original

ü  Assumes every cleric's child must be holy

ü  See a sleeping person and still ask ‘are you sleeping?’

ü  See a price tag and still bargain for lesser price

ü  Assumes that ones a guy has a car, he is rich

ü  Every unsliced bread is Agege bread

ü   Everyone who covers hair is a muslim

ü  Girls see all banking guys are rich

ü  A lady having delay in child bearing is seen to have lived a wayward or promiscuous life. (this is a terrible case)

ü  Everything imported must be expensive

ü  All bankers are stingy

ü  Every okirika product is original

ü  Every Nigerian guy is single

ü  Every Ibo man sells his female child to marriage

Most of these common belief/practices are real in our society but there are few of them that are exception. However, they have become part of our mentality, which makes us who we are, the pride of Africa.